Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Stepping over the Stone

I can't believe it, but I am turning 30 this month. It feels so weird to think of myself as being 30! I certainly don't feel it. I remember when I was much younger thinking, by the time I was 30 I would have a few kids, a husband and everything together and I would have all this confidence and that I would be so, so smart and have everything figured out.

Not exactly the case. At 30 I don't have any children yet nor at this moment will I have one in the immediate future. Other than being a wife and mother still not sure what exactly I want to do with my life. There are still so many things that I don't know or haven't done. Yet, when I look back at all the decisions I have made thru my life and all the relationships I have had, I don't have a single regret. I love my life now. Love. I am so very blessed with a wonderful husband, I have wonderful friends and such a close family. Richard and I have a close relationship that continues to grow stronger with each passing day. At our age we are blessed with no debt and have a future that will continue to be financially secure. He and I both have the same goals when it comes to having a family. I have the greatest friends, some who I have known 10, 15, 25 + years. And I could not be blessed with a more wonderful and loving family. Changing any direction in my past could have lead me away from the people that are in my life now. It's the people that make your life what it is. It is the people that really matter. So even though my life isn't what I envisioned it to be at 30 I am happy. Truly and completely happy. The one and only thing in the world that could make it better would be a child. And I know that day will come. Soon.

As I said above I have awesome friends. My three BFF's from Mississippi drove up to see me last weekend to celebrate. We also celebrated St. Patrick's day while we were at it. My friend Rachel who lives in Nashville also went out with us. We had a great time and I was so sad when they had to leave on Sunday. I can't wait until April to see them again!! I love you guys so, so much!!

Okay. I guess I should mention the adoption. Ugh. That should say it all. It is very scary right now to be adopting form Vietnam. I have read that VN and the US will not resign a bilateral agreement and that instead VN will become a Hague country. Of course this is not 'official' and I should note that I didn't even get this information from my agency. BUT, I have a horrible nagging feeling in my gut this will in fact be the case. Again, as of right now it is just a rumor. Just something I have read. Either way it dose not looked good and I do not look for the MOU to be resigned. I hope and pray that I am terribly wrong. I guess we should know by the end of the month. Let's all say a prayer that they can work something out so all of the many, many families can be united.