Finding the Joy in the Journey

Boon High Chair

2011-08-14T13:49:00.002-06:00

http://penelopesoasis.com/2011/boon-flair-high-chair.html

Penelope's Oasis is giving away this awesome high chair! I could just see my sweet Noah looking totally adorable in that snazzy chair!

2009-10-19T19:18:00.001-06:00

Just for Nana

2009-10-12T12:35:00.008-06:00

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

2009-07-26T15:45:00.006-06:00

Butternut Squash anyone?

2009-07-26T15:43:00.002-06:00

1st time eating solids :)

Our biggest blessing is you

2009-07-23T13:20:00.004-06:00

Samuel,

Today you are 6 months old. I can't believe how fast time goes.

You now sit up with ease and have two of the cutest little teeth. You laugh and squeal often. You give out smiles generously and so many love you, my sweet boy.

Daddy and I love you more than you could ever know. We could not have imagined the amount of happiness you would bring to our lives. You my dear Samuel are our biggest blessing.

2009-07-09T10:38:00.001-06:00

2009-07-08T11:15:00.000-06:00

Beach 2009

2009-07-05T08:32:00.016-06:00

Grandma and Pappa with grandkids (minus 2) and great grandkids (minus 2)

Luke, Samuel, Edward and Joseph

Luke, Sam and Edward

Sam and Luke

Sam and his favorite cousin, Edward.

This year was Sam's first beach vacation. Every year since I have been 2, my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents,etc.) all stay together at a beach house right on the beach. It is usually the highlight of every summer. As the years go on our family keeps growing as do our blessings!

Happy 1st Father's Day!

2009-06-21T15:08:00.001-06:00

Happy Father's Day, Rich. You are such a wonderful Daddy. Sam and I are both so lucky to have you. We love you more than you know.

Also, I wanted to say Happy Father's Day to my daddy. I love you and miss you everyday.

Sam and a couple of his friends :)

2009-06-11T10:25:00.005-06:00

Samuel is getting to be such a big boy! He is doing an excellent job at sitting up! He can sit up all by himself for a few seconds at a time. I think by the end of the month he will be a pro!

Here he is with his friend Señor Ricardo. Named after his daddy of course.

And here here he is with his best friend Oliver.

And here he is with his other BFF, mommy:)

9 1/2 hours!!

2009-05-25T07:57:00.005-06:00

For the past 3 nights Sam has slept 9 1/2 hours! I am so glad he is getting some really good sleep. He is doing great with naps, too. He takes his first two naps everyday! The late afternoon nap is still a struggle but I can live with him taking just the first two for now. I can already see an imporvment in his mood.

This picture cracks me up. Doesn't he look like a bully here? Like a tough guy? Don't let it fool you. He is the sweetest little thing ever.

Oh, and he loves his jumper!!

Samuel, 4 months

2009-05-23T07:11:00.010-06:00

I can't believe my baby is 4 months already! We just brought him home!

We had his 4 month shots yesterday. He actually did okay. He cried for a second and then got over it. He is my tough little boy.

He weighs 16.13! Nearly 17 lbs! He is now in the 85% in weight and in 59% for height at 25". He is in the 69% for head circumference. Rich is so proud. He says it's because he is going to have a big brain like his daddy :)

I also talked to the doctor about his fussiness and his lack of napping. I told him how we have been sleep training and he said that we are doing exactly what we need to. He said we just need to give it some time and Samuel will fall into a routine. He wants to see us back in 2 weeks to see where we are with the napping and to see if his fussiness improves.

I think by the time we go back to the doctor things will be much, much better. Yesterday Sam did really well with napping and he went right down this morning for his morning nap. So I think he just needed some time to adjust.

After his nap this morning we are going to Babies R Us and getting him a jumperoo activity station. He loves to 'stand'. He gets so pleased with himself. I think it makes him feel like a big boy. I think he will love something that will let him stand and jump and play.

It was last Memorial Day (May 28) that I found out I was pregnant. It's one of my very, very favorite and most cherished memories. We had been in the adoption process for over 2 years with no success and we had been trying to get pregnant for months. I was convinced we wouldn't be able to get pregnant without some medical intervention, so when I saw "Pregnant" on that little stick, I was in shock. One of the greatest days ever.

A year later and we are so blessed.

Hope everyone has a safe and fun Memorial Day weekend!

Under Construction!

2009-05-21T11:53:00.002-06:00

Have I mentioned that we bought a house? Actually right now it's just a lot. We bought new construction here in Bellevue. Hooray! They poured the footer yesterday and construction has officially started! The target close date is September 25! We are so excited! I expected this process to be a lot more stressful than it has been. So far it's just been fun and exciting!

We have Sam's 4 month well baby check up tomorrow. I am anxious to talk to the doctor and get his suggestions on sleep training during the day. We actually have continued on with what we started and he has had some really, really awesome days and some really, really bad days. But we just started and he is still learning so I guess that is to be expected. He is a smart little guy so I am sure he'll get it. In fact he has been napping, in his crib, for about an hour now!

Isn't he so cute? He looks like such a big boy in this picture! This was taken right before one of our afternoon strolls. The weather has been beautiful the past few days and we have taken advantage!

Sam might be ready but I am not

2009-05-15T18:10:00.009-06:00

I don't know if I can do this.

Today was especially hard. 10 x worst than yesterday. Sam finally conked out at 2:15...in his swing. One of the places we don't want him to nap. He slept 3.75 hours. I woke him at 6, bathed him, fed him and put him to bed at 6:40. He went right to sleep without a peep. Poor guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTEY20kL6yc This link takes you to a you tube video of a mother sleep training her daughter. The mother in this video is handling the whole let them cry it out thing much better than I do.

I think I might consult with his doctor again before I continue. It's through consistency that babies learn and right now I am not able to commit 100%. I just need more positive reinforcement from his doctor to be positive that I am doing the right thing. Once his doctor gives me the go ahead I think I will feel better about it. I just need that extra reassurance. May 22nd can't get here soon enough.

Sleep training, Day 1

2009-05-15T06:43:00.004-06:00

May 14

Ugh. Yesterday was SO hard.

Sam woke up at 6:30.

He was ready for his first nap by 8:00. He cried for about 20 minutes and woke up crying at 9:15.

Second try at a nap was at 10:45. He cried until 11:15. He then woke up at 11:55.

Third try was at 2:10. He cried until 2:40 but then slept until 3:40.

He was exhausted and extremely fussy so he went down for bed at 6:00. He cried for 40 minutes which is not the norm. He usually goes to bed without any crying, and if he does cry it is only for a few minutes.

He woke to eat at 12 am. Went down without any crying and slept until 3:30 when I got him up to feed him again. He was back in his crib by 4:00 and started crying at 4:15.

He woke to start his day at 6 am.

So yesterday he got about 2 1/2 hours of day time sleep. I don't think he got good, restorative sleep last night either. I don't think that even comes close to what he needs. Especially with his night time sleep being so fragmented. He needs good, long, consolidated sleep. I think he is chronically tired and that is why we are where we are now.

This is so hard. I HATE hearing my poor, sweet boy cry. I just want to pick him up and hold him. I just don't know what else to do. I pray that this is the right thing to do and it works soon.

Okay, what gives?

2009-05-12T09:51:00.003-06:00

Last night Samuel slept from 6:30 until 2:00 am! 7 1/2 hours! However the night before he slept three hours. The night before that he slept 7 hours and the night before that he slept 4. He is 16 weeks this Friday and we aren't even close to any kind of consistent night sleep pattern. We have a bed time routine and he goes down without any protest. But that is where the consistency ends.

In fact it kind of feels like we have taken some steps back. At 6 weeks of age is when it was hardest for us. His crying was at a peak and he never seemed to sleep. I feel like we are there again. And what makes this so hard is that I had thought we had turned a corner. For about 2 weeks he was napping great and sleeping an average of 6 hours his first stretch not waking until three hours after that. He was better rested and in such a better mood during the day. Now he may sleep 3 hours or 4 hours or even 7 hours some nights, but he is up again after an hour or two hours sometimes.

The one good nap I could count on everyday, his morning nap, has also seem to be nothing more than a fond memory. I am lucky to get a solid strait hour out of him now, whereas before he would sleep 3-4 hours! Yesterday I think he may have slept a total of 2 hours. AALLLL DAY! An hour in the am and then a 15 minute cat nap here, a 30 minute nap there. And I had to be holding him for him to sleep. The moment I put him down he was up. That is also a new problem.

Now this may not be such a stressful point with me if he was in a decent mood. Or if I could entertain him and keep him happy. But as it turns out if my child is tired and doesn't sleep he is EXTREMELY fussy. To the point I am scared to get out of my apartment with him because when he has these meltdowns it takes a while to calm him down. And in order to calm him down I have to basically hold him in a bear hug, bounce him while I pace and pace and pace.Sometimes I have to put a blanket covering his eyes. It's not easy and it isn't pretty. And even then it can take 20 minutes to calm him down. It's a process. And when he gets this way, he doesn't just cry. It would be better described as hysteria. When people, family, friends see him act this way they think he is in pain. I am 100% that he is just simply exhausted, but he just wont or doesn't know how to just give in and go to sleep without major assistance.

When he is well rested he is the happiest baby.. He is constantly smiling and cooing. I can usually catch that 'window' when he is getting drowsy but not yet overly tired. I take him to his room, rock him and sing softly to him. He gets drowsy and I put him down. 10 minutes later all hell brakes loose.

Sometimes I totally miss that window. One moment he will be smiling and playing and in half a second he is screaming his little head off.

When I talk to other people about this I don't think they fully understand. They think I am exaggerating or that I must be doing something wrong. It's not until people witness his fits that they see why I am ALWAYS home and would just rather stay here so I can deal with him in privacy. In fact we have an appointment with a design consultant today at 1:00 and I am a wreck with nerves about how Samuel will be. It's totally a coin toss.

I understand babies get fussy and they cry. But what Samuel does is beyond that. It almost takes an act of God to get him settled down. I just expected to be past this stage at 4 months of age.

And I feel totally alone with this problem. How is it that I am the only one who has a child that completely freaks out because they are overly tired? I talk to other moms about this and no one seems to have had this problem.

God help us. And my poor boy. I know he is miserable. I want him to sleep more for his benefit than mine. Yea, the lack of sleep isn't fun, but I can deal with it. He is just a baby and he needs his sleep. I feel so bad for him.

I think I am going to have to try the dreaded cry it out method. We did that for his night time sleep and he does go to sleep on his own now. That only took 3 days and the longest he cried was the first night one hour. I just don't want to do that for his naps. His doctor said he should be taking three naps a day. If I put him in his crib and let him cry (during the day they say don't let them cry for any more than one hour for each assigned nap time), that is going to be a lot of crying. And it may be days before he gives in and sleeps. But I don't know what else to do. Something has to give. We are both miserable during the day. I feel like we are missing out on so much quality time. He is growing up so fast I so desperately want the both of us to enjoy this time.

We have is 4 month check up next week. I am going to talk to the doctor about what I should do. I know though he is going to tell me to put him in his crib and ignore him if he starts crying before it's been an hour. He told us to do that when he was only 8 weeks and I just felt like he was too young to do that. Now that he is four months I feel like I really need to get a handle on this problem so we can get past it and both be happier.

Graduation Day, May 8th

2009-05-12T09:48:00.000-06:00

2009-05-05T08:21:00.000-06:00

Still waiting!

2009-04-29T08:30:00.005-06:00

So the seller came back with a counter that we, of course, countered. We should know by noon. I really hope it works out, but I am trying not to get my hopes up too high. Wow, buying a house is so nerve wracking!

If it doesn't work out, back to looking we go. I hope something comes up soon. We really don't want to pay month to month here for long. It's very expensive. Anyway, I know it will all work out.

So I have written about how Sam HATES tummy time. Not anymore! He doesn't exactly love it, but he doesn't hate it. This picture is proof!

We have had major progress in all areas. For the past week or so anytime we take Samuel anywhere everyone comments on what a good baby he is. And it's true! It's like overnight he turned into this easy going baby! He wasn't a bad baby before. He has always been really sweet, he could just be really fussy when he was tired which seemed to be most of the time. He even hated riding in cars. He doesn't seem to mind it anymore. We have been doing a lot of running around latley because of the home search and he has been so awesome! He just drifts off to sleep! I guess a lot of it has to do with him reaching 3 months. He has been going down at night with NO crying! None. And he is averaging about 6 hours the first stretch. Then it goes in 3 hour stretches. But when we get him up to feed him and put him back down he doesn't protest at all. He just goes right to sleep! And since he has been getting more sleep, he seems to be able to tolerate staying up a little longer and is in a much better mood!

Okay. We are keeping our fingers crossed that we get good news this afternoon! Wish us luck!!

Home sweet Home?

2009-04-27T12:15:00.003-06:00

Today we made an official offer on what might be our first home! Yay! I am trying not to get too excited though. Our offer is kind of low so I am hoping that the seller is super motivated to move. We should know by the end of the day. We are keeping our fingers crossed!!

Daddy comes home today!

2009-04-24T12:28:00.002-06:00

Richard has been in Hawaii since last Sunday. He is there for work and he comes back today.

While he was gone Sam and I spent some time at home (MS). It was only about a 2 day trip, but we had fun.

I have to say though, we do best at home, on a schedule. And it really hasn't been hard being here and having night duty all by myself. Actually I am surprised at how easy it has been. But that's not to say we can't wait to have Daddy back! We sure have missed him!

We thought Daddy would get a kick out of Samuel picking him up wearing his Vanderbilt shirt. Isn't it too cute? :)

Samuel, 3 months

2009-04-23T11:57:00.008-06:00

Boys are found everywhere- on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them.

A boy is truth with dirt on it's face, beauty with a cut on its finger, wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.

I love you Samuel, my sweet little boy.

Zoo Day!

2009-04-22T10:27:00.003-06:00

Samuel had his first trip to the zoo this past Monday. His Lady (my mom) went with us and she bought him this adorable hat to keep the sun out of his eyes!

Sam's first Birthday Party

2009-04-20T09:28:00.001-06:00

Sam went to his first birthday party yesterday. It was for sweet little Emerson. She turned 3!! As you can see, he had a blast :)

Samuel, 12 weeks

2009-04-17T12:37:00.002-06:00

We had Sam's pictures taken professionally today. Whew. It was during his nap time so it was touch and go there for awhile, but I think they will turn out great.

The photogropher just kept saying how big he was. She said he was the size of a 6 month old. I don't see it, but I guess that is because he is mine.

He laughs and smiles a lot more now. He hasn't laughed out loud yet, but I think that is coming very soon. Oh, and he loves to talk to you. He has so much to say. It's facitating and I would give anything to know exactly what it is he is trying to tell us. He HATES tummy time. He hates it so much that when you put him on his tummy he will turn over in no time. He started doing this about three weeks ago. We were suprised to seem him turn over so early, but we have a very strong baby. Physically and willfully. If he doesn't like it, you will know!

Nap time is still a struggle. This isn't a child that will sleep anywhere. In fact he really doesn't even sleep in the car. Isn't that wild?! We have a whole nap time routine that we have to do to get him wound down. We go into his dark room, I hold him tight and rock him and sing very, very softly to him. He usually will nap good in the morning (in his swing) but it's hard for me to get him down in the afternoon. And when he is tired...watch out! This kid gets extreamly cranky when he is tired. I mean extreamly!

When he is well rested, he is all smiles :) He loves to watch his daddy 'dance' and act goofy. He will just stare at Rich and smile the BIGGEST smile. It is the sweetest thing. He loves to do patty cake and 'ride his bike'. He loves, loves, loves to look at things (including himself) through the mirror.

He does pretty good at night. He goes down about 7 and sleeps usually until 1:30 and then gets up again about 4 am. Then he is up at 6 am.

We still have nights that are hard on us and him. I think when he hits four months I am going to implement a stricter schedule and sleep training. I definatley think he is the type of child that will do best on a schedule.

He looks just like his daddy, but I am afraid he has my temperment.He can be fussy and bossy like his mom ;)

For the most part he is so wonderful. He is so sweet and makes me smile. My favorite times with him is when I am holding him close before bedtime and giving him his bottle. He is so peacefull and sweet. I stroke his hair and tell him just how much I love him.

He is growing so fast. I want to soak him up because I know before too long he won't be a little baby anymore. But I guess to me he will always be my baby.

Someone's ready for the beach!!

2009-04-16T16:24:00.003-06:00

Just over two more months to go!

Samuel's first Easter with Family

2009-04-13T16:06:00.007-06:00

9 weeks 3 days

2009-03-30T13:02:00.002-06:00

I don't think there are many things sweeter than the sight of a baby sleeping peacefully.

My son has decided he doesn't need to nap. It's making every day living very, very hard for momma.

Dear God,

Please, please, please grant my son peaceful and restful naps. For the sake of his mom's sanity. Please.

Amen.

Sam, 2 months

2009-03-23T12:06:00.006-06:00

I can't believe it's been 2 months already!

We went for Samuel's 2 month well baby check up and he weighed 14 lbs!! He is in the 90% for weight. Looks like momma needs to cut out some of my sweet boy's snacks during the day. It's going to be hard to stick to a feeding schedule and not feed "on demand". When the doctor walked in he made a joke about "who needs a neck when you have a couple of chins." This picture shows what he was talking about.
I think his chins are adorable!! And don't you just want to kiss, kiss, kiss on those sweet cheeks? Can you tell he has a little smirk on his face? This is a picture of him just waking up...to eat no doubt.

We are also making changes to our sleeping arrangements. That too will be hard but I need him to be able to fall asleep even when he isn't in a swing or bouncy chair. Right now he does not like to sleep in his crib or pack n play. However I am sure it's easier to break habits of a 2 month old rather than a 6 month old so it's time to bite the bullet.

He is smiling all the time now. He loves, loves, loves his bear mobile. Those bears are his best friends and he gets so excited to see them 'fly'. Oh, and he is talking to us a lot more and it's the sweetest thing to hear.

We are getting more and more adjusted as time goes on. I just want to cherish every moment with him because he is growing and changing so fast.

What isn't changing fast enough is my weight. Gross. I feel HUGE. And gross. Not cute. I have never been this size and it's really, really getting to me. Before I was pregnant I was wearing a size 2! Now I am a size...yuck. I have started dieting and working out today. Losing weight has always been a hobby of mine even when I didn't really need it (even though I was sure I did) so it may take a while but I know I can lose the weight. I just wish it would happen sooner than later so I can feel like myself again.

Congratulations Dr.Richard Dortch!

2009-03-12T17:23:00.002-06:00

Congratulations to my wonderful husband who after 5 1/2 years of hard work, has received his PhD!

I can't express just how proud I am of him. He is a brilliant man who has so much to offer. He has such a bright future I am blessed to be a part of it.

Congratulations Rich! I love you.

Momma's sweet boy :)

2009-03-01T14:30:00.000-06:00

Samuel, 1 month

2009-02-23T11:52:00.003-06:00

All of God's grace in one little face...

Sam Cheers for the Tigers

2009-02-22T09:22:00.004-06:00

With Joyful hearts we welcome...

2009-02-12T11:42:00.005-06:00

Samuel Prater Dortch

Born on January 23, 2009 at 1:03 pm.
Weight 9.4
Length 20 3/4

Never have we been happier. Never have we felt so much love.

38 weeks And only one week until our little man arrives!

2009-01-16T10:58:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I had my 38 week ob appointment. They did an ultrasound because they suspected that he was going to be a big baby, and boy is he ever! At 38 weeks he measured in at 8.15 lbs! That's right, practically 9 lbs!!!!! They also mentioned I have a lot of fluid and am getting some calcium deposits on my placenta. They assured me everything was fine, but it was definitely time for him to make his appearance. I have to admit being a little worried about him. I read online that having excess fluid could indicate that there is a problem. But I the doctor told me Sam is fine and I have to assume that if they thought for a second there was a problem that the section would have been scheduled before next week!

Soooo, our little Samuel will arrive on January 23, 2009! I am to get to the hospital at 10:30 am and my surgery is scheduled for 12:30 p.m. . I am really excited and nervous. I can't believe he is soooooo close to being here! In one week I'll be a mommy!!

Work hasn't been bad. It's hard for me to get up and get around, but other than that it has really done me good to be here. I won't even make it back for two weeks before I am off again! I am going to work Monday and Tuesday and take off Wednesday and Thursday to get everything ready. Everything is pretty much ready now, but I guess to try to mentally prepare (if you can do that). Oh, and the ladies at work gave me a shower on Wednesday. It was very sweet and we got some really cute stuff. This baby has had a total of 4 showers. People are definitely excited about his arrival!

I'll post my last belly pics later this week. I am HUGE. But I guess that's what happens when you grow a 9 lb baby! I am just so happy and feel so blessed that everything looks good with him. Please keep my sweet little guy in your prayers.

37 weeks!

2009-01-09T12:14:00.001-06:00

Congratulations! You've got what is officially considered a full-term baby, even with three weeks to go. That doesn't mean he's finished growing — in fact, he's still packing on about a half pound a week (at this age, the average fetus weighs about 6.5 pounds). Right now, your little superstar is busy rehearsing for his big debut, inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid (to get the lungs ready for that first breath), sucking his thumb (to prepare for that first suckle of milk), blinking, and turning from side to side. Meanwhile, your body is going through its own preparations as your practitioner starts looking for signs of labor. On the checklist: the baby's position in relation to your pelvis (engagement) and whether effacement (thinning of the cervix) and dilation (opening of the cervix) have begun. Your practitioner may also determine whether your cervix has begun to soften and move to the front of the vagina, another indication that labor is getting closer. Keep in mind that these processes can occur gradually, over a period of weeks or even a month or more in some women — and overnight in others. So while they're clues that you're indeed progressing, they're far from sure bets when it comes to pinpointing the actual start of labor.

36 week OB appointment

2009-01-06T12:40:00.004-06:00

Today was my first cervical exam. Um, can I say "OUCH"! I assumed it would be like a pap smear; uncomfortable but not painful. Nope, not like a pap.

Anyway my OB confirmed that I am very much still pregnant. No dilation and no effacement. No surprise though.

I told him I was concerned because I thought the baby was sideways. He said he believed that the baby was in fact head down and what I was feeling was his little bottom. He said that we should have an ultrasound next week though to be sure of the baby's position and size. Yay! So next Thursday we get to see our little guy once more before he is born. Next Thursday I will be 37 weeks and 6 days!

I go back to work tomorrow. Not looking forward to it at all. But with some luck maybe I'll only be there a couple of weeks!

Can you believe next week is mid-January? Time truly flies.

36 weeks!

2009-01-02T13:30:00.002-06:00

Hi! Happy New Year!!

I can't believe the Holiday season is over already! It went so fast. And since I couldn't go home for the holidays like I normally would, it really didn't feel the same this year. But my mom was able to come see me for Thanksgiving and Christmas so it worked out.

Gosh. 36 weeks! Yaaaayyyy! I can finally say I am due "This month"! Yikes!

I have been feeling okay. I have been off work since 11/7 because I was having a hard time and minor issues with my blood pressure, but everything seems to have worked itself out so the doc gave me the okay to go back to work on th 7th. I have been off for 2 months and honestly I am not looking forward to going back. For one I am huge and nothing looks even half way decent on me. Two, I am going to be a freak about keeping my house spotless so that when we come home from the hospital the house is super-duper clean. I am always sort of a clean freak, but the closer it gets to having this little guy, the more intense it has gotten. Anyway, after a 9 hour day at work I just hope I have energy to come home and do laundry and sweep and dust and all that fun stuff. I know that Rich will think I am crazy for cleaning a clean apartment, but he is a good sport and will humor me by helping. Most people start their maternity leave 3 weeks before they deliver. Not me, nope that is when I decide to return to work. Oh well. I am sure it will make time fly.

We have everything pretty much ready for the baby. All of his little things have been washed and put away. His room is organized and oh so cute :) We have a few things still to pick up for him and we are making those shopping trips tomorrow. The only big thing we still need is his stroller. Other than that we just need lotions and washes, shampoo, petroleum jelly, bottle drying rack, a dishwasher rack, etc. So pretty much small stuff.

So I plan on breast feeding and per usual I am stressing myself out about it. But it seems like every new mom I talk to had every intention of breast feeding but found it to be so hard. I am not going back to work so I have the time. I just pray I have the patience because I know it will be so worth it.

So from what I have read, it seems like babies should have turned head down and dropped well before the 36th week. Not my little monkey. I have carried him so, so high this whole pregnancy and it doesn't seem he has budged at all. After a lot of discussion and watching him move and distort my belly in to all kinds of funny shapes, Rich and I have decided he is also still breach. I know we still have time and he could turn any day now, but I am worried that at this point he is so big what if there just isn't room for him to flip? Actually it kind of feels like at times that he is laying sideways in my belly. I wish I could see inside my belly at times and see how he is laying and exactly what is it he is doing when he moves around so much! Oh, and that brings up just one more thing I worry about. What if he gets the cord wrapped around his neck? I mean it does happen! How horrible!

I worry way to much. I really should work on that because once Samuel is born I know there are 1,452,125 things I could find to worry about every day. I really need to loosen up and live more in the moment.

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2009. Ours will be filled with so much change. A new baby and Richard graduating! It's going to be a great year for our family. I wish the same for everyone else!

33 weeks and last baby shower!

2008-12-17T17:40:00.012-06:00

Wow! I am 33 weeks! Can you even believe it? Actually 33 1/2 since I'll be 34 weeks this Friday. As Samantha says "that is really, really pregnant!".

My besties Sam and Christina threw me my third and final baby shower last Saturday. It was so, so much fun! I got some really great stuff including baby Sam's car seat! Yay! Now I won't have to strap him in the bumbo seat whenever we need to go anywhere!

As you can see I am the size of a small apartment. When I found out I was pregnant I remember thinking I wouldn't gain any more than maybe 25 lbs. Yea, let's just say at my last doctor's visit which was only about 2 weeks ago, I was at like 35 lbs! Seriously? I have a feeling I will be close to the 50 lbs mark when it is all said and done. I am praying I won't go over that although I don't guess it wouldn't be impossible or unreasonable to think I might even hit the 60 lbs mark at this rate.

And I am not one of those beautiful pregnant women who just glow. Nope. Not me. My stomach starts directly under my boobs so my entire torso is HUGE. And despite the weight gain my boobs have not grown. I can still wear the same cup size I did when I got pregnant. There really is no begining and no end when it comes to my back and butt. They just kind of run in together. Very attractive. I look like Danny DiVito as the Penguin.

Every time the MD sees me he comments on how big the baby is. Richard was over 9 lbs and I was over 8. I am just hoping this guy isn't going to be something like and 11 pounder. If so I think I will have to beg the dr. to take him and not tourture me with labor and trying to deliver a baby of that size. Then again, looks could be deceiveing. I am 5'1 with a short waist so maybe I just look a lot bigger than I (he is) am.

I am starting to feel a little better than I have been the past couple of months. I have also started washing all the baby's sheets, blanket and clothes. It's a fun chore though.

I can't believe in just a few more weeks I'll be holding him in my arms! Yay!!!

Yay Samantha, Jason and Emerson!!

2008-12-15T13:38:00.003-06:00

Last Friday my BFF Sam got the best news...their dossier was sent to Ethiopia and they are officially waiting! YAY!

I am beyond thrilled for them. Samantha has had adoption in her heart for so long now and it's so amazing that finally it's happening for them!

Soon they will have sweet baby Maya in their arms!

31 Weeks and lots to be thankful for!

2008-11-28T17:01:00.002-06:00

Wow! I am 31 weeks! Can you even believe it? Time is going by so fast. It's amazing. Lately I haven't been feeling too swift. Doctor has check just about everything and all seems to be okay. We had an ultrasound 3 weeks ago and Samuel was estimated to weight 3 lbs! Whoa baby! Big baby :) Last Friday we also had our 3-d ultrasound. Richard is going to help me upload some pictures and the video. It was amazing! I swear I already love this baby SO much. I can't even begin to imagine what I will feel when I finally hold him. I think my heart may explode.

We stayed in Nashville this Thanksgiving because the three hour drive is getting harder and harder to make. My mom got super sick on Wed. so she wasn't able to make it up to see us,but my MIL came and spent Thursday with us.

I drive to Memphis this next weekend \, for my second of three showers. It is being given by my Aunt Denny and my cousin Lindsay. I am so thankful for them putting this together for me. They have SO much going on so it really means a lot.

The following weekend my BFF, Samantha is throwing me a shower. Again, so touched because I know putting these things together are not easy or cheap and she is currently in the process of adopting her sweet little girl from Ethiopia (Blog is Family Hood) so it means so much that she is doing this. I am very, very excited :)

I have so much to be thankful for. My wonderful husband, my wonderful friends, my loving family and this sweet baby boy that will be here soon. Life is good :)

YES!!!!!

2008-11-05T08:21:00.002-06:00

Empathy Belly

2008-10-30T10:20:00.002-06:00

This was taken at our first labor and delivery class, 10/28/08. They made Ricahrd lay in a bed, under a sheet and toss and turn and then get up to give him an idea how simple things can become a challange when you are carrying 20+ extra pounds all in your belly. He really did have a hard time and complained because he had to wear the belly for 25 minutes. I of course loved every minute of it =D

Labor of Love

2008-10-28T14:16:00.007-06:00

Tonight is our first "Labor of Love" class. In this class they teach you first signs that you are in labor, pain management techniques, laboring positions, etc.

The class is a 6 weeks series. Once a week from 6:30-8:30. Gosh, I am usually asleep by 8:30 so I am going to feel like a real party animal tonight :) I am excited and hope I don't get too freaked out right away.

This weekend (really this month) is going to be really busy. Friday we are going to Matt and Rachel's to help give out candy and to have chili. Yum! Matt and Richard are going to carve pumpkins, too. It will be fun. We spent last holloween with them and they actually had a lot of trick or treaters come by. All of them so,so cute! Rachel, Matt and Richard all went to college together so Rachel and I of course became close friends when I moved to Nashville. I was in her wedding and now it's so fun because we both are pregnant. She is only about 5 weeks ahead of me, so it's so great to share this experiance with a good friend.

On Saturday I plan on getting up and leaving Nashville no later than 7:30 am to drive to Mississippi. My friend Amanda is have a wedding shower on Saturday so I am driving home for that plus my cousin Jennifer is also pregnant (again, only about 4-6 weeks ahead of me)and her shower is on Sunday. So busy weekend but full of lots of fun stuff!!

Okay- Keep your fingers crossed I can stay awake for the whole class tonight :)

26 weeks!

2008-10-24T08:46:00.004-06:00

Wow! 26 weeks! It's so unreal that we are at this point. I have never been this happy in my whole life.

So here is the belly at 25 weeks. My belly is HUGE! My mom came in town the other day and we were shopping at Kroger. I was a few feet in front of her and I turned to tell her something and she just started laughing hysterically. She said "You are so pregnant". It really is comical.

I feel pretty good, although I can't remember the last time I got a good nights sleep.

Our little monkey is moving and kicking and punching and I think sometimes he is doing cartwheels! He kicks so hard you can see my belly move now. It's amazing. I am so ready to meet this little guy, but I know a part of me will miss being pregnant. I have honestly enjoyed it and realize just what a blessing it is.

I still very much am interested in Vietnam adoption news and am so saddened to hear how things are turning out. I can't stop thinking of all those families who have been waiting years for a child who suddenly are faced with the reality they have to consider other options. And most importantly the children who need families to love. Richard and I would have been waiting 19 months (not long compared to some) if we were still in the program. And let's please not talk about the money lost. And when we signed on to the VN program we were assured by our agency it was a very stable program. Which at the time I am sure they believed it was. But by September 2007 (or a bit earlier) I had serious doubts and went to our agency about them. I told them I was concerned about the program being over taxed and the corruption. I expressed my fear that the program would implode and we would all be left at square one. I knew that with all the problems and issues that the program was having it was not a 'secure program'. Yet I was assured by my agency that I was wrong and that I was being "emotional" and that my fears were baseless. Everything I heard was "rumor". So I took their word for it. After all they were the experts, not me. Richard kept telling me to be more positive. But I could not ignore what I kept reading over and over. I don't want to be negative, but I didn't want to be naive, either.

I still have that email from my agency assuring me how stable the program in Vietnam was. I was urged to not switch programs (we strongly considered Ethiopia) and that we would bring home a child from Vietnam.

I understand at that time they might not have KNOWN what exactly was going to happen. My point is that if I, someone who was pretty new to adoption, had a strong gut feeling, idea, suspicion that things were not going to turn out well for all, that CHI knew a lot more than they were letting on. I believe they had information that they chose not to share with their clients. I got all my information from just doing a little research on the Internet. They had first hand connections, yet they didn't realize how bad it was but I did...?? I feel like they handled my husband's and my case very carelessly. My Bestie Samantha and her family are adopting from Ethiopia. I had to recommend that she not go with our agency based on our experience.

I want to stress I am not blaming CHI for what happened in VN, obviously. But I was not happy with the way our specific case was handled and I feel like all through the process information was with held from us.

I didn't mean to get into all that, but when I think of the families that I started the adoption process with who are hurting it breaks my heart. It's just a sad situation for everyone. The families and the children.

Okay, something that I found hilarious!-- So Richard does most of his research on rats (sorry rat lovers),so we got Samuel a stuffed rat so he can grow up and be like his daddy. Well, we got our swing for Sam the other day and we noticed the thing has buckles. So Rich decided the sensible thing to do was to practice strapping in "the baby" so when it is really time to put him in, we know what we are doing. The rat is what Richard practiced on!

Sam's Room!

2008-10-24T08:29:00.004-06:00

Samuel's room is almost done! I am pretty happy with how it tunred out. I did a couple of art projects for his room. I painted the letters on the wall behind his crib and added the ribbon and I painted the "samuel" train on the shelf. Our mothers bought us the glider and I am beyond thrilled to have it! It's so comfy. I sit in it and look around his room and imagine what it will be like once he is here!

So you can see he already has lots of stuff! What you don't see is the dresser full of even more clothes and shoes. Oh the shoes! He has a bunch of different sneakers and even hiking boots! They are so cute I cant NOT get them!

Snakes and Snails and puppy dog tails!!

2008-09-14T16:30:00.001-06:00

Yep! It's a BOY! A sweet, little boy!

Richard and I couldn't be any happier!

18 Weeks!

2008-08-29T09:33:00.003-06:00

I am 18 weeks today! Yay! I had a doctor's appointment this past Wednesday and got to hear the baby's heart beat again. The sweetest sound ever! And we set up an appointment to find out gender! September 11th! I am sososososo excited!

Next Wednesday we are going to tour Baptist's labor and delivery unit and then the following Monday we are going to tour Centennial Women's hospital. So we should know where we are delivering pretty soon. I would like to take childbirth classes at the same hospital we have the baby. At first this pregnancy seemed to be creeping by so slowly. Now I feel like it has really picked up momentum and is going by pretty fast!

Oh, I felt the baby move! It is obviously very subtle, but it is such a great feeling! The baby is now about 5.5 inches and weighs just over 5 ounces. Considering I was reading about the baby when it was just the size of a poppy seed, that seems huge! Oh, and my uterus is the size of a cantaloupe. Average weight gain for this week is 10-13 lbs. I am right at 10 lbs so I am hoping if I continue to eat a healthy diet I can avoid gaining something dreadful like 60 lbs! My diet is pretty good, but I have got to get more active. Before I was pregnant, I worked out all the time! Jogged, walked, aerobics, light weights. The first trimester I felt great, but I was exhausted! I definitely didn't have the energy to work out. Now I feel like I have more energy, but it's just so hard to get back into the routine. Plus if I am going to do any exercise, it needs to be in the am. After a full day of work now way can I muster up the energy to do it. I will set a goal to start next week.

Not a whole lot else going on. Richard is still plugging away at school trying to finish. We love our new apartment. There is so much more room and it just feels so much more open.

I am anxious to see what happens with the dossiers on Monday. I am saying a prayer that something wonderful happens and they aren't sent back. I am also saying a prayer for all the families who are waiting to bring their children home.

I hope everyone has a great Labor Day.

Oh, and one last thing…. GGGOOO OBamba!!!!

16 weeks and hard decisions.

2008-08-14T11:53:00.001-06:00

Tomorrow I am 16 weeks! 4 months, wow! I have to post a belly picture soon. I have really popped! Still feeling great with the exception of a few bad headaches. Other than that, so far so good.

We are moved in! We started moving things Thursday afternoon and had everything done by Sunday. Everything. From organized drawers to curtains hung! I love it. It seems so much bigger. Definitely much more open. We were able to turn the guest bedroom into a bedroom/office. So Richard now has a quiet place to go and work while he is at home. And of course we have baby-baby's room set up. I have more to do in there like pictures, rugs, etc, but I will wait until we find out if our little one will pee standing up or sitting down :)

So it looks like we are officially staying in Nashville for at least the next two years. Richard is taking a position at Vanderbilt so now all he has to do is graduate :) We are shooting for late October. It would have been really nice to move back home to Memphis. He had a great interview with ST. Jude and they really liked him. Vanderbilt just seemed to be the better fit for many different reasons. And 3 hours isn't so far, right? Plus we both really love Nashville and wouldn't mind staying indefinitely.

This week we officially withdrew from CHI's Vietnam program. It's something he and I have been talking about doing since April. We just needed a lot of time to think about it to make sure 100% it is what we wanted to do. We still plan on adopting. No question there; just where and with whom we aren't sure of. Right now it looks like we would adopt from Ethiopia, but we will of course have to evaluate all the programs that are out there in about a year. I have a lot more to say regarding withdrawing from CHI and my feelings on officially leaving the VN program but I will write about that later.

Oh! I want to say congratulations to my bestie Samantha! She and her family have started the process of adopting a little girl from Ethiopia! YAY!!! I am sosososos excited for her! This is something she has wanted to do forever and I am so happy they have officially started! Her 2 year old daughter, Emerson will make an awesome big sister! I couldn't be more excited for all three of them!

Heartbeat

2008-07-30T09:30:00.000-06:00

Today I had an OB appointment. Richard and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was so amazing. It was strong and fast and it made me cry :) I feel good that baby-baby is doing well. The doctor said we still have 6-7 more weeks until we find out the gender. Why are they torturing me?? Oh well, it will go by soon enough.

We definitely have enough to keep us busy and our minds on other things. We are moving next weekend into a three bedroom. I am so excited to put the nursery together. We bought nursery furniture a while back when we expected to be bringing Sam home much sooner. I am glad that buying furniture is one thing we don't have to worry about. Plus we got such an awesome deal on what we bought.

We also have a wedding in Atlanta to attend this weekend. Richard's sister, Sally is getting married. We are leaving after work on Thursday and won't return to Nashville until Sunday afternoon. So that only leaves us 6 more days to pack. And we cant start on any of those days until after we get home from work, like 5:30 or 6:00. Gross. I hate moving. Good news is that we hired movers so we don't have to do any heavy lifting !!

13 Weeks!

2008-07-25T14:08:00.001-06:00

Today I am 13 weeks. The baby is just over 3 inches long and is about the size of a peach. I remember reading when we first found out that I was pregnant that the baby was the size of a poppy seed. s/he has really done some growing in the past few weeks. And I must say, so have I! At 3 months pregnant I officially cannot fit into anything of mine that zips, buttons or clasps. I had to go out and buy some sun dresses to get me through the summer. Luckily it is easy to find styles that are loose fitting and flowing.

Overall I have been very lucky. No real morning sickness to speak of. Occasionally I get a 'unsettled' feeling in my tummy, but usually if I snack on something it goes away. So, eat I must :) I was really, super tired the first couple of months. I would come home from work, eat and go straight to bed. Luckily that is getting much better and I am starting to get some energy back. Resting isn't so easy though. Some nights I have to get up as much as 5 times to run to the bathroom! As soon as I lay down and start to drift off, I have to get up and pee again!

I really, really feel like this baby is a boy. Although I think that may be because for about a year and a half Richard and I envisioned ourselves with a son. So who knows. I have to admit I am one of those crazy women that obsess about finding out! I can't learn the sex of this baby soon enough! Whatever it turns out to be we will be over the moon! I can think of 100 reasons why we would love a son and 100 reasons why we would love a girl, so looks like we cant go wrong.

I have to say I still get a real anxious feeling in my stomach when I think of our adoption. I am just so sad over the whole thing. For us, for other families who are waiting on a referral, families whose dossier has been sent to Vietnam, families who have received a referral but it just may not be 'official' and most of all for all those sweet, precious children who need loving families. Our agency received the last 3 referrals they will receive before the Sept 1st shut down. When I read that my heart sunk. It just felt so final. What happen? What went wrong? When we signed up in March 2007 things seemed to be going so well. There was so much hope and happiness and excitement. Now there is sadness and confusion and fear of what will happen. The outlook is just so dreary.

Richard and I have recently discussed whether or not we should pull out and look at other options. My first instinct is to withdraw from the program and after this baby is 6 months of age, start presuming another adoption. But to be honest at this point international adoption from any country seems scary. Then I think we will wait it out. Surely things will work out between the US and VN, right? Oh, but then there is that little issue of our agency not being Hague accredited. That could be a problem seeing as how it looks like the US is pushing VN to become a Hague country. Argh. This is all so frustrating. How is anyone supposed to know what to do? One wrong move could cost you months of waiting and lots of money. No wonder everyone is as confused and scared as they are.

I realize just how blessed Richard and I are to be pregnant. It truly is a gift and I am so incredibly thankful for it. I also realize there are other families that may not have options like Rich and I do. I already feel a connection to this child that was created out of the love from Richard and I. I know that God has blessed us and it feels my heart with joy. But, it doesn't mean that we aren't still grieving for this adoption. This adoption was something that Richard and I prayed for. We already felt love for a child that we had never met.

If you know me , you know that I am easily worked up. I will find things to worry about. Once I get started it's really hard to talk me down. After being together for 5 years, Richard is learning. He always reassures me in a calm and soothing voice, "It'll all work out. I promise". I have no idea what will happen with our adoption. I am trying to live more in the moment and enjoy today. That is something that is hard for a person like me to do sometimes but I try to follow Richard's example. Whatever happens I know that it will all work out and we'll have the family we were meant to have.

In the meantime I want to focus on having a happy and healthy pregnancy. I want to surround this baby with love and happy thoughts. I want to enjoy this experience because I know how special it is and just how fast it goes. My next OB apointment is July 30th. We should hear the baby's heart beat for the first time. I will no doubt get emotional and probably cry. Hearing your baby's heartbeat for the fist time; could there be anything sweeter?

Suprise Blessings

2008-07-10T12:53:00.000-06:00

I have been trying to think of an elegant and profound way to write about how our lives have changed in the past couple of months, but I think it best just to say it; I am pregnant. 10 1/2 weeks. Richard and I are over the moon. We could not be any happier.

He and I are still 100% committed to the adoption. We want nothing more than to bring a son home from Vietnam. If I could have my way, I would be on a plan to get him right after the baby is born. CHI policy though is that we will be put on 'hold' until the baby reaches 6 months (assuming things between the US and VN will be worked out). Honestly I was relieved when I heard that. I was worried they would make us wait a year. So, ideally we hope that we will receive a referral around the time first baby is a year old, and have Samuel home 6 months later. Ideally. Am I crazy to think maybe, just maybe it will work out that way?? I hope that's not asking too much., but I have learned you can't necessarily plan for life. It is very obvious to me now that God is in charge of all the planning. When we started our adoption a year and a half ago I never would have dreamed we would be where we are now. Not that we are in a worse or better place. Just different. We dream of a diverse family made up from adoptions and bio-babies. We just didn't think it would be in this order. But that's okay. We are starting a family and that is what we both long for so much.

I am not real sure what I am going to do with this blog. I want to put something together that will incorporate everything happening in our lives. The adoption, being pregnant, Richard graduating, etc. I definitely want to write more often. I have an account set up with word press so I think I will move soon.

It's so funny how life works out, isn't it? But if there is one thing I believe it's that everything has a purpose and a reason. And knowing that gives me comfort and reminds me that everything will always be okay.

"All is connected ... no one thing can change by itself."

2008-06-06T10:47:00.011-06:00

Tomorrow we have been on the waiting list for a referral for a year.

It's funny how time changes a situation. We never would have guessed things would have turned out the way they have. Never.

A lot has changed over the past year. Who knows what exactly will happen with our adoption or the adoptions of so many other families. I do belive that we will bring our son home from Vietnam…eventually. In the meantime I will be happy. I will be thankful. To sum the past year up by only acknowledging our pursuit to adopt would be a disservice to everything else that has happen in our lives. Here I am a year later and I still have all my loved ones with me. No divorces, no deaths in our family. Instead we have had weddings and births.

Today I will look forward and be happy for all the wonderful things in our life that have yet to come and I will look back and be greatfull for all of our blessings.

I'll go anywhere as long as it is forward-— David Livingstone

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

2008-06-04T08:16:00.002-06:00

Happy Birthday, Daddy. There isn't one day that goes by that I don't think of you. I love you and miss you more than anyone could ever know. I know that you are with me in spirit and that gives me comfort.

Happy Birthday.

Heart Broken

2008-04-09T15:29:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I was in the worst slump ever!! I honestly cried at work a couple of times. Monday night I got no rest. Not after what Rich and I witnessed that evening. What we saw took our breath away. Complete devastation. Memphis lost the NCAA Championship game.

I thought they had it. They were up by 9 with just over 2 minutes to go and we lost it. That is what makes it hurt so bad. I don't think it would have been as painful if we had trailed most of the game. But to be that close?!?! To have it in our HANDS!!!!

I was so upset. I was an emotional wreck. I told people I felt like my dog died. I told Richard I don't know if I can get as emotionally invested in a sports team again. It's just too much!! I know it's only a game, but it would have meant so much to the team and Memphis.

I grew up in the Memphis area and have just moved to Nashville only 4 years ago, so my heart is in the River City for sure. I think Memphis gets a bad rap. Yea, it certainly has it's problems like most major cities, but there is so much history and tradition. Memphis as a city needed that win and the great guys that played on Monday night really wanted to bring it home. Also, I just want to mention that the guys on that team also get a undeserved bad rap. People see that tattoos and assuming that because they play for Memphis they have to be bad kids. But they aren't. A lot of them have had a really rough start and have not had life easy. They have come a long way so it was heartbreaking to see them lose.

But, they have given us an awesome season. Only 2 lost games all year one of them being the championship game. #2 overall…Not so bad :)

GGGOOO Tigers!!!!

Stepping over the Stone

2008-03-19T11:35:00.006-06:00

I can't believe it, but I am turning 30 this month. It feels so weird to think of myself as being 30! I certainly don't feel it. I remember when I was much younger thinking, by the time I was 30 I would have a few kids, a husband and everything together and I would have all this confidence and that I would be so, so smart and have everything figured out.

Not exactly the case. At 30 I don't have any children yet nor at this moment will I have one in the immediate future. Other than being a wife and mother still not sure what exactly I want to do with my life. There are still so many things that I don't know or haven't done. Yet, when I look back at all the decisions I have made thru my life and all the relationships I have had, I don't have a single regret. I love my life now. Love. I am so very blessed with a wonderful husband, I have wonderful friends and such a close family. Richard and I have a close relationship that continues to grow stronger with each passing day. At our age we are blessed with no debt and have a future that will continue to be financially secure. He and I both have the same goals when it comes to having a family. I have the greatest friends, some who I have known 10, 15, 25 + years. And I could not be blessed with a more wonderful and loving family. Changing any direction in my past could have lead me away from the people that are in my life now. It's the people that make your life what it is. It is the people that really matter. So even though my life isn't what I envisioned it to be at 30 I am happy. Truly and completely happy. The one and only thing in the world that could make it better would be a child. And I know that day will come. Soon.

As I said above I have awesome friends. My three BFF's from Mississippi drove up to see me last weekend to celebrate. We also celebrated St. Patrick's day while we were at it. My friend Rachel who lives in Nashville also went out with us. We had a great time and I was so sad when they had to leave on Sunday. I can't wait until April to see them again!! I love you guys so, so much!!

Okay. I guess I should mention the adoption. Ugh. That should say it all. It is very scary right now to be adopting form Vietnam. I have read that VN and the US will not resign a bilateral agreement and that instead VN will become a Hague country. Of course this is not 'official' and I should note that I didn't even get this information from my agency. BUT, I have a horrible nagging feeling in my gut this will in fact be the case. Again, as of right now it is just a rumor. Just something I have read. Either way it dose not looked good and I do not look for the MOU to be resigned. I hope and pray that I am terribly wrong. I guess we should know by the end of the month. Let's all say a prayer that they can work something out so all of the many, many families can be united.

I am it!

2008-02-19T12:52:00.005-06:00

Yay! I have been tagged by H at Star Light Star Bright (one of my favorite blogs)!

Rules:
List 7 random things that people may not know about you. The rules are to link the person who sent this to you and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours. Post the rules on your blog. Share 7 facts about yourself. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. My apartment has to always be clean. It freaks me out to have anything out of place. I am prepared for people to stop by at anytime of the day, any time of the week. You will never find my place a mess. My Saturday mornings revolve around 'cleaning clean'. Every Saturday I clean the floors in the kitchen, spray down the counters, dust, flip couch cushen, clean both bathrooms top to bottom, etc…you get the point. Then and only then can I sit down to enjoy my cup of coffee. Luckily I get up pretty early in the AM and have all this done sometimes before Rich is even up. I literally get out of bed and go straight to the kitchen and clean. I love it.

2. I was Mississippi State Champ in my divison in Karate when I was 12. Yea, I was pretty Bad ass :)

3. I am Catholic. I went to a Catholic school growing up. My entire mother's side of the family are practicing Catholics. My grandmother and Poppa have been the best examples of how to live in the Catholic Faith. Richard converted to Catholicism before we were married. I didn't even have to ask. He willingly volunteered and I cant tell you what it meant to me. Converting to Catholicism is not easy. Lots of classes and lots of retreats. It took almost 9 months to complete the process. Our children will be raised Catholic so it means a lot that we as a family will share in the same faith.

4. I do all the accounting for a new home builder in middle Tennessee, yet I have not paid so much as one personal bill. Richard handles all our finances and pays all the bills. The thought of handling our personal account stresses me out. I will let him deal with the process and he can just give me the bottom line.

5. I love spicy stuff. I also love sour stuff. It can't be too spicy or too sour.

6. I am NOT the party animal. Even on the weekends I like to be home, in bed by 10 pm and up the next morning at 6:30-7:00am. Usually once a month I will meet up with my girlfriends and we will go out and it will be WAY past my bed time before we get home and even if I just have a few cocktails I am usually still recovering 2 days later. Yuck.

7. Have you ever seen John & Kate plus 8? SO Cute! I want that life! Well, maybe not 8 kids, but I always wanted like 5. And I think it would be so awesome to have them so close (same as) in age! I know, I know. It would probably be a total headache most days.And the money! Where would you get the money? But I have always wanted a really large family! And all the headaches would be worth it when you have all these people to love! But because of our age and Richard's school it doesn't look like that is in our future. I turn 30 in March and we don't have a baby yet. So I guess if God sees fit we can plan on three.

Okay- I am supposed to tag 7 people but I am a little late. Most of the people I would tag have already been tagged. So, if you haven't been tagged, you're it!!
I also am late in posting about what Rich and I did for Valentines day. I have pictures so I just need to load them up and write about it. I hope to do that this week!

...and the greatest of these is Love

2008-02-13T15:51:00.003-06:00

*** I want to thank those who commented or emailed me about my last post regarding my Daddy. Your kind words mean so, so much. And yes, it definitely does help to know that others understand. Your kindness means so much!**

Last weekend I went home (Mississippi) for one of my best friend, Christina's birthday. We have been friends for 26 years and she is like a sister. She turned 30, so it was a HUGE celebration. There was a big group of us and we even got to ride a party bus! We made several stops at different bars and clubs around Memphis. At 3 am my other Bff Samantha and I were falling asleep where we stood! I remember a time when staying out until 5 am was no big deal at all. Not anymore!! Now I turn into a pumpkin at midnight! But as always we had the best time and it was worth it to stay up past my bedtime! Happy Birthday, C! I love you!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentines Day and you get to spend it with the people you love!!

2 Days before Valentines day..

2008-02-12T09:15:00.000-06:00

And 5 years ago my daddy had a heart attach. His heart had stopped beating for 22 minutes before the doctors revived him. After the three months that would follow, it was something we wished they would not have done. My daddy was in what the doctors so frankly called a 'Stupor'. It's a coma like state, only his eyes are open and he would follow some sound. However, he could not follow command so we don't know whether his mind was actually functioning or not. I certainly hope it was not. In fact believing that he had no idea what was going on is the only thing that will let me deal with what happen. Seeing someone you love so much go thru something so horrific HAS GOT to be the WORST feeling in the world. He spent 3 months back and forth between nursing homes and hospitals. Never looked after and cared for by staff as he should have been. At least that is how we feel. We were totally helpless. There was nothing we could do to help him or to make it better. We would talk to him and hold his hands all the while praying that he wasn't aware we were there because we simply didn't want him to be aware of anything. The doctors would tell us that with the kind of brain damage Daddy had, there was no hope. They told us he would continue to get infection after infection until his heart finally gave out. They were right.

I have a lot of guilt regarding the death of my father. Not of what I did or didn't do while he was 'with us'. We had a good relationship. He knew I loved him and I know he loved us very much. My guilt I guess comes from wondering if I spent enough time at the hospital with him. Was I strong enough for my mother? Was I there for her in the way she needed me? Did I talked to him enough, just in case he did hear. Was there something else we should have done, could have done to make him more comfortable? My mother and I weren't with him when he died. Did he know?

When I think of my dad's passing and his life the one word that just repeats in my mind is "Sorry". I am sorry this happen to him. I am sorry he had to live like he did the last 3 months of his life. I am sorry he worked a job for 20+ years he HATED just to support us all those years. I am sorry he had to work that job 12 to 14 hours a day. I am sorry he didn't see me or my brother get married. I am sorry that he will never met my children. I am sorry he and my mom didn't make it to their trip to Vegas that he was SO excited about. I am sorry he couldn't have spent the last year of his life doing everything he loved to do. I am sorry for all the pain he had growing up in an abusive house. I am sorry that his mother turned him away when he told her he was being abused by his dad. I am sorry at 16 years old he was sent off to military school because his parents simply didn't want to deal with him anymore. I am sorry for how rejected his family must have made him feel as a child and teenager. I am sorry he never got to go to all the places he wanted to go. I am sorry that he wasn't ever able to deal with the pain of his childhood and so he drank. I am sorry he didn't get the opportunity to grow old with my mother. I am sorry they never got to move. I am sorry that he never really was able to deal with all the different emotions he felt when my grandfather passed away. I am sorry that I was sometimes embarrassed of my dad because he could be loud. I am sorry he couldn't earn a living by playing the bass. I a sorry my dad never felt real love until he married my mother. I am sorry my wheelchair bound grandfather would have his brother beat up my dad because he couldn't do it. I am sorry it was my dad's same uncle that dropped him off at military school rather than his own mother or father. I am sorry for every day that my dad felt sad. I am sorry that he was only given 44 years.

One thing I am happy for is the love I know he felt from my mom, brother and me. My mother was no doubt the best thing to happen to my dad. She loved him totally and completely. My dad was defiantly a family man and we meant more to him than anything. He was so proud of us.

I miss him terribly. There is no sorrow that can be compared to the sorrow of losing a parent. Especially when it happens too soon. I am not sure, 5 years later, if I have really dealt with the pain. It's too sad. Too scary. I talked to him often and ask that God be sure that Daddy has complete peace. I think after everything, he deserves it now.

My mom, brother and I are left to remember and love him. I thank God for giving me a mother who is as strong as my mom is. I can't imagine the pain and feeling of loss that she feels. But it is all a little easier when we are able to lean on each other.

5 years ago my Daddy went in a coma. In some ways it feels like it was just last week. Other ways it seems like it's been an eternity. My life has changed in so many ways since he and I last spoke. I know he is happy for where I am at. Words can't express how much I miss him nor how very much I love him. I feel him with me often. I still feel his love and I know that he is always looking out for the three of us and that is a thought that makes me smile.

Happy Valentines day, Daddy. I love and miss you very, very much.

8 months ago today

2008-02-07T14:51:00.001-06:00

We were added to the waiting list for the referral of an infant boy born in Vietnam.

Wow. 8 months. It seems like such a significant amount of time. Looking back to when we had just begun this process I thought 8 months would be bringing us close to our son. I would think a head to 6 months and 9 months and get so excited thinking it wouldn't be too much longer, but now I realize we have many, many, many more months to go.

Lets pray that the MOU situation will be worked out if not by September, soon after. We should know one way or the other by March. I am very anxious. What will we do if they don't resign? Last I checked about a month ago we were #127 on the waiting list. I doubt we will get the call to start our dossier before the Sept 1st cut off. Rich and I are the people that the DOS was warning. We have been officially and actively involved in this adoption for 11 months, yet the only progress we have made is to slowly move up a waiting list. A waiting list to get on another waiting list. A wait which by the way has been extended 3 times since we have been added. Ugh. What do we do? If they don't resign I guess we could wait it out and pray that the suspension of adoptions isn't very long and that the VG does continue to complete adoptions for those who have their dossiers logged in and those who have referrals. That way we would at least continue to climb the waiting list we are on. Ideally the MOU would be resigned with in a year or less and by that time our agency would have received referrals and it would be close to our time anyway.

But what if the suspension is as long as it was before? What if it is 2 years, 3 years??

And at what point do we say we have waited long enough? After one year? Gosh, the idea of being so financially and even more emotionally involved in this adoption and investing so much time in WAITING, just to have to jump ship and start all over again with a different program is so very scary.

I know it sounds cliché, but Richard and I feel connected to a child that hasn't even been born. He has a name, he has a crib, he has clothes, he has books, he has toys. We have taken several classes and spent countless hours reading, watching and researching the best way to love and care for an adopted child. I have spent many nights praying for him and his birth mother. So this adoption has to happen, right? I mean we will bring home a son, OUR son, right??

Were we silly to be so excited when our application was accepted? Was I silly to announce to family and friends we were adopting our child from Vietnam? Were we silly to give him a name to make him feel more real? Was it silly of us to buy and paint his crib and dresser? Is it silly of me to day dream of having him in our arms? Was it silly of us to get so excited? I almost feel foolish sometimes.

As far as preparing for him I feel like maybe we did too much too fast. When we signed up I felt sure that we would have him home in a year and half, easy. Now I feel we will be extremely blessed to even have a referral by then.

I want this adoption to happen in the worst way, but I have to be honest with myself. Am I willing to wait another 2,3 years? I don't know. I want to be a mother. I want a child. And not just one either. We want a few. I am scared to wait not knowing what will happen.

But just the thought that we may have to pull out of this program makes us feel in a way like we would be betraying him. Like we are giving up on him.

I guess for now we will continue to just...wait.

Stay near your safe place, it's going to be a long night…

2008-02-06T11:11:00.000-06:00

I remember when I was young being scared, almost panicked, by thunderstorms. Whenever there was a storm at night after we were all sleeping, I would wake up and take my pillow and my blanket and lay on the floor next to my parents bed. If there was a tornado warning I would repeatedly ask my parents "Is there going to be a tornado?". I was terrified of what the storm might do to us and our house and what was worse, there was nothing anyone could do to control it.

As I have gotten older and now reaching my 30's, I have to admit this is one fear I have not grown out of.

When I walked outside yesterday to go to work I realized it was way too warm for the beautiful winter-white coat I was wearing. When I got in my car I discovered it was 65 degrees. 65! In February! I knew then that we were going to be in for some storms. I spent all day stressing about it! I started watching the weather in Memphis because my family and friends are in the Memphis area and Nashville usually gets the weather from that area.

The storm really hit Northern Mississippi/ Memphis about 6:00. As it traveled thru Memphis, Jackson it didn't reach us until about 9:30/10 pm. As soon as it hit our area Rich and I were bunkered down in the tub. I had reached such a high state of fear I was shaking and in tears. We had heard on the news about all the destruction in Memphis and in Jackson and I was terrified it would happen to us. Poor Richard tried to calm me down but he couldn’t convince me we would be okay. It passed within like 5 minutes, I calmed down and got ready for round two. The second line of storms didn’t get to us until 2 am!! I think I finally turned the weather channel off at 2:30am and feel asleep not long after feeling relevied and blessed we doged another bullett.

I have never been in a tornado. I have never even been victim to a sever thunderstorm. So what gives?? Why this gripping fear of storms?? I wonder if it is a control thing. Is it because I know what will be, will be and there is nothing in the world I or anyone else can do about it? The idea of dying in a horrible storm with terrible, monstrous tornados isn't a fun thought either. I don’t know what it is, but I seriously need to find a way to get over it. It is no way to live.

Talking to my mother about last night and her being very familiar with my (sometimes irrational) fear, she said something that I absolutely loved.

Fear Knocked at the door ,Faith Answered,Nothing was there.

God's will will never take you were God's grace does not protect you.

At least 48 people were killed. A reported 67 tornadoes touched down. A pumping station explosion in Tennessee killed at least one person.
The victims included 24 people in Tennessee, 13 in Arkansas, seven in Kentucky and four in Alabama.

Let's pray for all the victims and their families. So, so sad and such a horrific tragedy.

Pinch of patience

2008-02-01T15:47:00.000-06:00

2 post in one day? I know!

This was in our agency's monthly VN newsletter and thought it was so wonderful I had to post for thoes who didn't see it!

Recipe for Tet Eve:
1. Take the twelve months of the year and then wash away all the bitterness, jealousy, and hate. Drain well.
2. With precision, cut each month into 28, 30 or 31 pieces.
3. Combine well with:

Pinch of love
Pinch of patience
Pinch of courage
Pinch of effort
Pinch of hope
Pinch of fidelity
4. Marinate the mixture with optimism, self confidence and humor.
5. Set aside to soak for a while in a solution of "Our own hearty resolutions."
6. Scoop the mixture out, grind it finely, put it all into a "pot of love" and cook over "happy, cheerful" heat.
7. Serve in bowls of "indulgence," eat with "smiles," and you will have a NEW YEAR FULL OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS.

Hope

2008-02-01T13:19:00.000-06:00

Hope is the companion of power, and the mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miricales.

Tag! I'm it!

2008-01-25T11:37:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged by H at Star Light Star Bright! Yay! A reason to post =)

4 jobs I've had:
1. I worked at an ice cream stand that was named "Boomers". Looking back it was a their cheap version of Hooters. Only at 16 I had no idea!!
2. West Clinic in Memphis. It is an Oncology Clinic and I worked the front desk
3. Hunter Fan as an import specialist.
4. Fox Ridge Homes. They are a new home builder and I do their accounting. Very exciting :)

4 movies I've watched over and over:
1. Napoleon Dynamite
2. The Ring (love scary movies!)
3. Office Space
4. Others

4 places I have lived: Oh, gosh...I don't even know if I can list 4!
1. Walls, Mississippi
2. Horn Lake, Mississippi
3. Southaven, Mississippi
4. Nashville, TN

From the time I moved out of my parents home, I never lived more than 5 minutes from them. So the move to Nashville was HUGE as it is like 4 hours away!!!

4 shows I watch:
1. The Office
2. Two and a half Men
3. Friday night lights
4. Project Runway

4 places I've been:This list wont be too exciting..
1. Jamacia
2. Florida
3. Alabama
4. Atlanta

4 favorite things to eat:
1. Mexican
2. Burgers
3. peanut butter
4. Anything fried!

4 places I'd rather be:
1. Closer to family. Anywhere, just closer.
2. The beach
3. at home on the couch with a good book
4. at dinner with Richard sharing a glass of wine

4 things I look forward to this year:
1. A Baby coming into our lives
2. Richard finishing school and getting his PhD
3. Moving. Whether we stay in Nashville or Richard's carrer takes us somewhere else I am excited to start this new chapter
4. Spending every moment I can with the people I love the most!

Okay I am supposed to tagg others but I am a little late in the game, so if you haven't been tagged yet, You're it!

In The Perfect Place...

2008-01-15T16:18:00.000-06:00

"May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have recieved and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let his presence settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance praises and love."

New beginings and new Promises!

2007-12-27T15:16:00.001-06:00

Hi! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! Richard and I sure did.

We split our time between Mississippi and Memphis to spend time with my family and his mother. We were even able to slip in some time to see my favorite girls.

All of my friends have little ones. Richard and I are the only ones with no children so when they were taking family photo's someone came up with a clever idea so we wouldn't feel so left out...

Pretty funny.

Well, we have been on the list for more than 200 days now. Wow. That seems like a really long time, but I have a feeling it will easily be another 200. However you never know what the new year will bring so I will remain optimistic =)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and has a blessed New Year!!

Love,
The Dortches

2007-12-27T15:16:00.000-06:00

Spreading Holiday Cheer!

2007-12-03T15:41:00.000-06:00

Christmas is around the corner! I can't even believe it! This year has gone by so incredibly fast!!

Wow. Well, we have been on the waiting list for about 6 months. It seems unreal that it has been that long in some ways. Other ways it feels like we have been waiting much, much longer. But I have to say it feels good to put half a year behind us. That just sounds like a significant amount of time. Even if we have a year and a half left. Slowly but surely, we are getting there =)

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving. Ours was wonderful.

I just love, love, love this time of year!

It's been a while!

2007-11-12T12:00:00.000-06:00

Wow. It's been a while since I have posted, hu?

No updates as far as our adoption goes other than we have now been on the list for 5 months. How many more to go? Good question. According to CHI 's current estimated wait time for referral we have about 13-19 months. If I may be frank, I am actually worried if there will even be a VN program at all in a year and a half. With all that has gone on it makes me very, very nervous. I am not going to get into a long post about it because I feel like it has been talked about and debated so much that I would probably just be repeating what someone else has said at some point. The one thing I would like to say is that I am proud to be with Children's Hope International. I feel they are a good, solid agency and the ethics which they operate on have never been a concern to Richard or myself. But still I am beginning to doubt whether or not we will be bringing a son home from Vietnam. So what now? Do we stick it out? Do we hope against hope that as we get closer and closer to a referral the doors aren't slammed shut in our face? Do you come up with a plan B? What country would we adopt from if Vietnam is no longer an option? These are all questions I feel like Richard and I need to discuss and resolve right away. My sweet husband does not. He wants to wait it out and see what happens. Which, really is all we can do. I just hate having such uncertainties. I should say I am so grateful that I have someone like Richard in my life. He truly is my rock. He keeps me level and focused. It's such a blessing for me that I have him to lean on. I truly, truly love him.

In other news I am driving to Mississippi this weekend. My friend Julie is having a party for her birthday. It will be nice to see everyone. Then of course the next week is Thanksgiving. Gosh this year has really flown by.

The longing for love and the search for Knowledge

2007-09-30T13:48:00.000-06:00

"Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind]."
---Benjamin Jowett

We attended an adoption workshop at Vanderbilt's Children's Hospital this past Saturday. I really enjoyed the speakers and found the information very interesting. We attended a class at CHI back in August (I think it was August) and we have another class at CHI we are attending in October. We have also completed the Because They Waited series and read Adoption Parenting. Richard and I want to attend as many workshops and classes as we possibly can. I don't think there is such a thing as being too prepared. Gosh, let me tell you I was not as eager about 'learning as much as I can' in school. I guess when the subject is something you feel so strongly about and it will personaly affect you in such a big way, you want to do all you can to gain as much knowledge as you can.

Another bonus about going to these classes are the great people you meet. We met a couple from Knoxville, Michelle and Eric who are also adopting from CHI. They are adopting from the Russia program. I also met a very nice man named Jerry who is adopting a son from VN. He is also going thru CHI. He had recently received a referral for a beautiful 4 year old boy. He was so proud to show his referral picture. He is anxiously awaiting a travel date.

Okay, it seems not even a threat of extended wait times will keep me from shopping for our little Sam! I just can't help it! I really can't!! I can't remember the last time I bought myself something. I would rather put that money towards all the cute things I can buy for Sam. Some people may think it is a bit premature, but the bottom line is it makes me happy and puts a smile on my face. So, I will continue to shop for little boy clothes. I am thinking ahead though only buying things that are 12-18 months. So at least I know they are things that if they don't fit, he will grow into.

Tomorrow starts another work week. I have to say I love my job and the people I work with, but I never look forward to going back to work!! The weekends are just too, too short!! Oh, tomorrow also starts my hard core diet :( Another thing I am not really looking forward to. But since healing from my foot injury I haven't been able to find the motivation to work out like I have always done and to make the best choices when it comes to food. I used to work out at least 5 days a week for at least an hour a day. I have done this for years, but I simply have just not felt the drive. Oh, and the food situation is out of control. So, tomorrow is the day. I plan to get up at 6:00 am to work out. If I can get on a daily work out routine, the healthy eating will fall into place more easialy. Wish me luck!

I hope everyone has had a great weekend and has a great week to come!!

10 years ago

2007-09-24T09:42:00.000-06:00

Wow. I can't believe it was 10 years ago that I graduated high school. Crazy.

This weekend was our reunion. It was fun to see people that I went to school with so many years ago. Everyone looked great. My close friend Amanda did most of the work pulling the reunion together and she did a really, really good job. It was a great turn out and a successful event.

I haven't written about the news from our agency regarding the extended wait times. I am going to be completely honest and say I did not deal with that news very well. I was very upset and in tears for a day or two. I know everything happens at the right time and in the end it will all work out and bla, bla, bla, but at this moment I want Baby Sam and seeing the silver lining isn't easy. I also know that there are so many families who feel the same way I feel and are just as desperate to bring their child home. I just can't come here and write and pretend that I am not devastated by the extended wait times. One big fear I have with the VN program being so overly taxed is I worry about stability of the program. It's just that so many things can happen and change in two years. It's scary. I do have to say that I feel very secure knowing that we signed with CHI. They have always been very honest and fair. I would be a little more worried if we were with another agency.

It's been hard and disappointing the past couple of weeks, but I know that one day we will bring our little Sammy home.

100 Days...

2007-09-15T08:59:00.001-06:00

And counting...

The end of a long weekend.

2007-09-03T17:07:00.000-06:00

Don't you love long weekends? I mean just the one extra day off really seems to make a difference. 3 days off is like heaven. And even though we did have an extra day off and even though this is going to be a short week...I DO NOT want to go to work tomorrow. Urgh. I hate when weekends come to an end. Long or short.

Okay. Enough complaining. We had a great weekend! We finished Sam's crib! Let me just say I am pretty proud of how it turned out. It was much, much more difficult than painting the dresser and it took 2 whole days to finish. We had fun, though. Hummm, what can we paint next? ;)

Okay-So I wanted to take a picture of Richard and I to capture the excitement we had about finishing the baby's crib. It turned out to be just a really goofy picture =-)
This is after one side had been primed.
And this is Richard setting up the crib in our dining room.
And here it is all finished! I really do love it! Right now it sits in my dining room. My mom is coming in town on Friday so I will leave it up for her to see and then the next week Rich can take it down so we can put it in storage. Our lease is up early next summer so we are moving into a three bedroom. Yay! Right now the two bedroom is perfect, but it will be exciting to finally have a nursery!!

The bedding is the bedding they gave me when I bought the crib. It looked beautiful on the maple but I didn't think it would look very good on the black. I have to say I am surprised. It looks much better on the black crib than I expected it to. What do you think? Are the colors too neutral for a black crib?? I am still on the look out for bedding that I love. I haven't found anything yet. Luckily (or un-luckily) I have time.

This is what our Saturday night revolved aroundUT Football. Richard is a HUGE UT fan. I mean HUGE fan. He was not happy about the outcome. Oh well, we always have Memphis basketball.

Okay, I am going to try and psych myself up for the start of another work week. At least it is only a four day week and my mom will be here Friday so I have that to look forward to.

I hope everyone had a great Labor Day weekend!!!

My first Tag!

2007-08-27T12:42:00.000-06:00

Yay! Okay, this will be fun :) Thanks, H at Star Light Star Bright!

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. When you are tagged, you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged & to read your blog!

Janelle-

J-June. June is the month Rich and I were married.

A- Anticipation. My aunt Denise used to tell us on Christmas Eve the best part of presents was the anticipation. My mom says anticipation is what makes good moments, special moments. I don't think the anticipation will be the best part about this process. The best part will be bringing Samuel home.

N- Not laid back. I like to worry. I don't actually like to worry, but I do worry. A lot. I just want everything to be perfect.

E-Easter. I was born on Easter day. I was born in March so Easter has only been on my birthday twice.

L-Love. Love the idea of being a mommy!!

L-Laughter. My favorite thing to do is laugh and luckily I am married to the funniest guy ever!

E-Eat. I love, love, love to eat. Also, Exercises. With all that eating, I have to exercises!

Okay- I am supposed to tag 7 people. I think H has tagged most of the people I would have tagged so I will just check their blogs to see what they wrote :)

Welcome Baby Margo!

2007-08-26T13:24:00.001-06:00

3 weeks ago Richard's cousin, Caroline and her husband Aaron brought home their beautiful daughter, Margret May. We were able to visit them today and all are doing well. Margo is the most beautiful little girl and has a head full of hair. This is a picture of me and my mother in law admiring her beauty.

Weekend Project!

2007-08-19T17:53:00.000-06:00

This Saturday Rich and I painted Sam's dresser black. It was a big job and took us all day!! But it was lots of fun. This was our very first home improvement project so we learned a lot. We didn't have time to get to the crib so I hope to do that in a couple of weekends.

This is the before shot. Well, minus the hardware and feet. We had already taken them off before the picture was taken but you can get the idea.
And this is the finished product! It's not exactly perfect, but we are very pleased and look forward to painting the crib:)

Weekend Update

2007-08-11T16:42:00.000-06:00

Hi! We had our Pre-Adopt class today at CHI. It was very interesting. We had speakers on the medical aspect as well as attachment. We are super glad we went. And for attending we got a nifty certificate showing that we completed 4 hours of class. The certificate is a photocopy of a computer print out. Very official :)
Later that day I ran by Macy's. I had a gift card for them that I had never used and thought I would look at stuff for Sam. I bought two cute pair of camo shorts (a boy can never have enough camo shorts) and a cute hoodie. I took a picture of the small amount of things I have for him so far. A sock monkey, shorts, snoopy socks and a really, really cute shirt from my bff, Samantha.

I have mentioned the shirt before but took a pitcure so everyone could see. So adorable!

"Get your own Mom. This one is mine!" Love it!!!

What's in a number?

2007-08-07T14:38:00.000-06:00

Hi. Just a quick update.

I sent an email to CHI yesterday just to get our updated number on the list. I know the number doesn't really mean anything because the referral time is still the same, but it had been 2 months so I was curious to see where we were.

We are now 164 on the list. We have moved up 12 spots in 2 months. It sounds like a lot of movement, but does it really mean anything? Does it really matter seeing as how the referral times have not changed? She did mention that the wait times for boys have not been extended, but that they could be. I hate hearing that. I know that is the case, but I hate hearing it just the same. I know they haven't been extended yet, but the uncertainty is nerve racking. Did I actually just say that? What did I expect from international adoption?? Uncertainty is what it is all about, right? I guess I still have a lot to learn and a lot to get used to. And I better get used to it fast because it is WAY too early for me to start getting panicky.

I know everything will happen in it's perfect time. In God's perfect time and not one day past due. I just have to keep reminding myself of that every day.

2 Months and counting...

2007-08-06T15:42:00.000-06:00

Today has been 60 days since added to the waiting list. Gosh, we have so much further to go. At times I don't know how I will be able to make the wait. I am already so preoccupied with thoughts of Sam. I just can't wait to have that little guy in my arms.

In reality Rich and I actually need the next year to prepare for Sam. 1st I have no idea where we will even be living. Rich will obtain his PhD by next May. Then depending on whether or not he decides to stay in academia, we will be moving. Moving out of state unless he accepts a position at Vanderbilt. We haven't decided yet what we want to do, but the idea of moving is exciting to me. Before it really scared me to think that we would probably move even further away from the Memphis area and all my family and the majority of my friends, but now it seems like a great opportunity to move and travel and to live in and experience as many different cities, states as we can. I may be changing my mind once we have a baby home with us and no family in driving distance to lean on. On the other hand I love Nashville and would be happy to stay. It's only a 3 hour drive from my family and friends. That is a huge comfort. At this point we really have no idea what is going to happen or where we will end up in the next 9 months. But I do know we will land exactly where we are supposed to be :)

Oh, I almost forgot! We purchased Sam's nursery furniture a couple of weeks ago!! I work for a new home builder for the greater Nashville area and whenever a community sells out, we close out that model. When a model closes my company will have a model home sell, usually in the form of an auction. Well this particular model was staged with a nursery in one guest room. I was so thrilled. It is maple and just beautiful! We got the dresser (which can also be the changing table just by adding the padding) crib, mattress and bedding for $275. We don't have a truck so we had to fit everything in our wagon. It took us 2 trips and we had to diss-assemble the crib to get it home. Richard is so super sweet he agreed to put the crib back together in the dining room so I can dress it with the bedding and take pictures to show everyone before it goes back into storage until we move into a 3 bedroom. I will also post pictures of them here. I hope to have the pictures taken this week or this weekend

The bedding is originally just what I wanted. Soft, comforting colors. Greens, blues, beiges. Very pretty. But I knew I wasn't in love with it. I thought it was pretty enough though and having it would save us a lot of money. Yesterday we went to Babies R Us for fun to just look around. We saw so many cribs and it confirmed what a great price we got!!! But, I kept looking at the black nursery furniture and loved it the more I looked at it. I didn’t mention how attractive I thought it was to Richard. Out of the blue he said "Ya know, I really like the black. It looks really modern" He suggested we paint the maple and we can add brush nickel handles/knobs. I love the idea!! With black I think it will also be easier to add pieces if we need/want to in the future. So, now that we have decided to paint the nursery furniture I HAVE to have new bedding =-) I mean the colors of the bedding simply would not do on a black crib. I am now on the hunt for beautiful bedding. I must be very, very picky because it is really hard to find something I like for a little boy. There is so much for a little girl, but I haven't really seen anything that just screams out to me yet. The hunt continues and Lord knows I have a while to look.

Here is an example of one that I like the most so far...

Today I finally got rid of the crutches (Yay!), but I am still in a soft cast and walk with a very noticeable limp. Can you believe it?? My injury happened on the 21st and I am still not healed. Christina (the culprit who pushed me ;)) feels just horrible. It's okay, Pancake. I know it was an accident =-P

I went back to the doctor last Wednesday and she put me on a cycle of steroids and then told me to wait a week. If still not better she will have to send me to see my orthopedic surgeon. Last February I had to have a bone tumor removed in my wrist. Very painful and I was with just one hand/arm for almost 2 months. It was so very tuff and I can't imagine being with just one foot/leg for much longer. I know if I do go back he (Ortho. surgeon) will surely not be expecting to see me back again so soon. But I have seen some improvements since I started the steroids. Again, I am off the crutches so that is a start. I really hope to be out of the cast by the end of this week. Finger crossed!!! Silly, freak injuries like this really make you thankful for your health and well being. I think of people who live their lives on crutches or worse and I feel so bad to complain that I have not been 100% mobile for a few weeks. I am truly blessed in so many ways. I have no reason to complain about a temporary inconvenience and I work really hard to remind myself of that!

This weekend we are going to a Pre-Adopt Class at CHI. I am really excited about it. It is so wonderful they offer these classes to waiting families. It reminds you that you are and expecting mommy and daddy :)! I love to say that…Mommy to be:)

Sun, pool, friends...and an injured foot??

2007-07-23T07:14:00.000-06:00

Two of my favorite people came to see me this past weekend. My dearest and oldest friend since childhood, Christina and my long time bff Samantha. It was so nice to have theme here. I swear we laughed the whole time!! These are two of the funniest girls, ever!

Somehow though we all managed to injure ourselves. Samantha got off easy with just a scratched up knee. She fell when trying to gather too much of our stuff when we were leaving the pool for the day. Poor Christina was trying to do water gymnastics and lost balance and fell...on her face. Ouch! She has a cut on the bridge of her nose and a cut right above her lips. My injury landed me in the emergency room. I was playfully pushed in the pool. However it was the shallow end. Only 3 ft deep. I landed hard on my right foot. Really hard. I knew my foot was broken. Turns out it is not broken, just a really bad internal bruise. It hurts so bad. I have to wear a special shoe and walk on crutches for 7 to 10 days. That is why kids, you don't horse around at the pool :)

They are so sweet. They had gifts for me when they arrived on Saturday. Christina brought me some Peach Jelly (there's a story to that) a cute magnet for the fridge and a really pretty frame for a super cheesy picture she and I had made together when we were about 13 years old at Walmart! It's just too funny! Samantha brought me something for Sam. She bought him the cutest little pair of khakis that can be rolled up as long shorts or rolled down to pants. So cute. Then she got the cutest little shirt I have seen. It says 'get your own mom, this one is mine'. Love it!!!

We have had a busy summer so that's good. It will make time go by a bit faster. Sam and Christian left yesterday and my MIL comes in today. I think she is staying just until Tuesday, then she is leaving for Atlanta to visit Rich's sister, Sally.

We are about 6 weeks into our wait for our little boy. We have SO much longer to go, but I just keep thinking that time will go by and before we know it we will be looking at his picture.

The Best Time Spent...

2007-07-09T11:12:00.000-06:00

Is vacations spent with family. And here we all are at our best. Err, well maybe not our very best, but here we all are together just the same (well, minus my cousin Michael who was missed!)

Every year for as long as I can remember our family all goes to the beach to spend a week together. At first (when we were all much smaller) we would rent a condo. The grown ups would get a room and the kids would be scattered through out. Some of us even would sleep in closets! As you can see we have grown and I don't think many of us would fit into closets anymore so now we all share a big house on the beach. I look forward to it every year!

This is me helping my grandmother cook( I know, really bad pic of me!). Actually all I did was stir. She along with my mother and my aunt did most of the cooking, but it was fun to pretend I was helping ;) Cooking for all of us was a really big job! But it is so fun to have everyone gather in the kitchen at dinner time. Nothing brings people together like food!

This was our entertainment for a couple of nights. My cousins and my brother singing and playing guitar while we all listened and sang a long. Good times!

My cousin Lindsay has two small boys. Edward is about 16 months and Luke who is about to turn 3 in August. Now I know I may be bias but these are two of the cutest boys you will ever meet. Lindsay and her husband Brian are so good with them. They definitely keep them buys.

This is a picture of Edward playing in the sand. He is the happiest baby and he just loves everyone. He is so adorable!This was taken 4th of July. We were outside on the beach watching fireworks. Luke and Edward don't look too thrilled about the having a picture taken, but they had a really good time.

I was hoping to hear about more referral news when we got back but no such luck. Oh, but I did see the new baby added to the waiting child list. He is so precious. I know someone will scoop him up really quick!!

Yesterday Rich and I finished our Because they Waited series. The last test were essay questions. I have to say that the questions on Richard's test were much harder than mine. I found the last module to be the most interesting. They mentioned a technique called "holding" when a child is in the middle of a sever tantrum. I have never even heard of "holding" before. Well, there is a lot I have never heard of before. I have a lot more reading and research to do, but I have plenty of time to do it. One month down, possibly 14 more to go!

Moving is not fun!

2007-06-28T17:33:00.001-06:00

The above print is of Vietnam. My MIL bought this for Rich and I and gave it to us last week while she was here for her visit. Isn't it beautiful? I especially like it because it is a black and white print. Now, we just have to find a room to hang it.

Urgh. Work this week has not been fun. Our office is moving so it has been very hectic. Most of my files were packed away by a temp last week, so it has been so hard to find what I need. My office is a disaster and nothing is in order. I am a very organized person and can be a little anal when it comes to cleanliness and organization. I can't keep my head straight while working in such a mess. It's distracting. Oh well, It will all be over Monday. I will have to finish packing tomorrow and then I am working all day Saturday to make sure files are put away in their proper place. I am not looking forward to it. I cherish my Saturdays because that is usually the one day that Richard and I can spend together. Oh well, it's really no big deal. It's just one Saturday so I need to just get over it, right? I know. I am being a baby :-)

On a much brighter note, Richard and I are leaving Tuesday afternoon to meet my whole family at the beach! We all (about 17 of us!) rent a big beach house in Gulf Shores. We have been doing this since I was about 2. It's so much fun and really the highlight of my summer.

I am keeping my fingers crossed and saying a prayer that our agency gives us a big referral update tomorrow!! Now that would make for the start of a great weekend!!

Welcom, Friday Morning!

2007-06-22T08:28:00.000-06:00

South VietNam in Mytho. I love how big their smiles are! They must really be having a great time!

I am always glad to wake up to a Friday morning!! My mother and Robert came into town on Wednesday and left this morning to go back to Memphis. I have seen her almost every week since summer began and I love it. The time we spend together is so special to me and I want to take advantage of our time together because in the next year who knows where Rich will take a job and how far away we will have to move. Right now it is just a three hour drive. Next year we could very well be a plane ride away.

The visitor's keep coming!! This afternoon Richard's mother is supposed to come into town to stay with us thru Sunday. His cousin is having a baby shower on Saturday and I can't wait. It is her first baby and really the first baby for Richard's side of the family. Everyone is so excited!!

We got an update yesterday from our agency. 2 new referrals. Yea! 1 for a healthy toddler boy who is 3 1/2 and the second was a 7 month old girl from the waiting child list. Also, 8 families got travel approval. Congratulations to all the families!!

They hope (We hope!) to have more referrals next week. Let's keep our fingers crossed!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!!!

Glad it's Friday!

2007-06-15T09:05:00.000-06:00

These are Bang Lang Flowers. When they are in blossom, it announces the coming of summer. Summer is definitely here in Tennessee.

I am so happy to finally be at Friday!! This weekend should be really nice. Other than dinner reservations we have nothing major going on. This is good.

Tonight we are having dinner with friends. Really casual. Tomorrow I plan on cleaning, laying out by the pool and then Richard and I are going to celebrate our anniversary that was on Monday. It's just no fun to celebrate on a Monday.

I am hoping for an update from our agency today. Gosh, I would love to see some news about referrals!!

Oh! I have found a song that I am in love with. It is Lullaby by the Dixie Chicks. It's so sweet! If you haven't heard it, you really must listen. This link will give you the lyrics. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dixiechicks/lullaby.html

UPDATE: Well, we got a program update from CHI. New travel dates were given, but no new referrals. It is disappointing that there are no new referrals, but great news for the families who are traveling to get their little ones. It seems like it has been a really long time since any referrals have been received. Maybe it just seems that way to me because now I am actually on the list and these new referrals will affect our placing. Oh well. Maybe next week?? Congratulations to the families who have received travel dates!! I am excited for you all!!!

2 Years ago today...

2007-06-11T07:35:00.001-06:00

I just wanted to write a quick entry today because it is our 2nd year wedding anniversary. It has gone by so fast! I feel so blessed to be married to Richard. He is such a caring person. I realize not every man would agree to adopt when he has no reason to believe we could not have a biological child. It means so much that he is willing to open his heart to a child in need. My life so far with him has been filled with so much joy and happiness. I love him to no end. I am so excited about our future and I am in love with the idea that our family is growing! It has been a wonderful 2 years and I know our lives will continue to be blessed. So...Happy Anniversary, Richard! I love you!!!

When I was walking in Memphis...

2007-06-10T16:29:00.000-06:00

We went back to Memphis this past weekend. Richard's 10 year high school reunion was Friday and Saturday and we planned on going. After some thought Friday on the way back to Memphis, he decided not to go and that we would visit with his friends with out attending the reunion.

I really wanted to get in touch with my friends but decided this weekend would be dedicated to Richard and his friends. It was originally going to be all about him anyway and I thought I should keep it that way. He is so busy with school it is a really big task for him to even take a weekend off and travel to Memphis to visit friends. I am able to get away from Nashville much more often so I really was happy to help him take advantage of this rare free time.

Friday we just spent time with his mom and had a nice quiet evening. Saturday he attended the Fed Ex Golf Tournament with his friend Matt. I was able to see my mom and visit with my aunt who is visiting from California. Later that night we met up with some of Rich's friends and my cousin downtown. We all met at some one's beautiful apartment 11 stories up with a roof top view of down town Memphis. The view was beautiful.

Everyone is really excited that we are now a 'waiting family'. It sounds so official! =) We received our I-171 H on June 5th ( a day after my Daddy's Birthday) and we were put on the list Thursday, June 7th. I found out Friday we are number 176 on the list. That number sounds really, really big. BUT, I am praying for a flurry of referrals to our agency so that number will quickly shrink! I have faith. Everything will happen in it's perfect and right time. But I have to be honest,the waiting will be hard and we have only just started.

Rich's mom has already bought Sam several really neat books. She is an elementary school teacher, so she will make sure Sam never runs out of books to read! I can't wait until I can read them all to him!!

Wait one, over!!!

2007-06-06T17:49:00.000-06:00

This is what we have so anxiously been waiting for....

Our I-171H arrived! It came in the mail yesterday and when I saw it in the mail box I could not believe it!! I was so thrilled. I called Rich who was still at school and told him to come home. We had something to celebrate!! We had some champagne in the fridge for this very occasion and we went to dinner at a local Mexican Restaurant. It was a good day.

Today I had a community service project I was working on (NOT court ordered, by the way!) so I wasn't near a fax machine and I didn't have time to run by CHI. I am faxing it to Sara first thing in the morning and we will be on the list! Yay!! Another thing to celebrate and one step closer to our little one. This makes me smile =)

Weekend Therapy

2007-06-05T11:02:00.000-06:00

Well, we are at week seven with no approval from CIS =( I am practicing patience. Let me just say it is hard. I know it will come....but when??

I was able to go home (Mississippi) this past weekend for my dear friend Amanda's birthday. The best therapy is time spent with best friends.

I swear, I have the greatest group of friends. I feel so much support from them. I don't know what I would do without them!! They are so excited for Richard and I and are just as ready for us to bring Sam home as we are. And they never get tiered of hearing me talk about the adoption. I love them and I always have the best time with them. We started the night off with dinner at the Happy Mexican ( I LOVE Mexican food) and then ended the night with some music and dancing. There were lots and lots of laughs all thru the night. It was just what I needed.

Oh! My bff from high school, Samantha, bought Samuel his first pair of swimming trunks!

Too cute, right? We went swimming Saturday with our other friends and everyone had their little one. They were all so cute. Samantha has a 13 month old girl, Emerson. The cutest little thing. And she LOVES the water! Adorable!

Hopefully I will update tomorrow saying that we finally got our I-171H. My fingers are crossed!!

Here is to lazy long weekends!

2007-05-28T14:54:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone had a great Holiday weekend!! We have had a really nice weekend of not doing a whole lot of anything.

My mother came in to town on Friday and stayed until Sunday. We had a great time. It is always so nice to have her here.

Rich and I just watched another section of our adoption videos and took our tests. A 100% each!

My fingers are crossed that we will get our I-171H this week!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!!

2007-05-21T14:46:00.000-06:00

Nothing really to report today. Just thought I would add a quick entry as I wait until it's time to leave work for the day.

Saturday was a month since we sent in our Home Study to CIS and had our finger prints taken. We should (hopefully!) receive our I-171 H approval any day now.

I am so consumed with thoughts of the adoption and the baby. We have such a long way to go. If this process teaches me about anything, it will be about patience.

2007-05-16T15:53:00.001-06:00

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.
1 Samuel 1:27

Waiting

2007-05-15T14:28:00.000-06:00

Not much to report on the adoption front. We are still waiting for our I-171 H so that we can be added to the 'list'. It will be a month May 19th since everything was sent in to Immigrations. Another family that is adopting from VN and who lives here in the Nashville area received their 171 H in about 4 1/2 weeks. If we receive ours around that time, that should still put us on the list by the end of May, very early June. I really, really hope by May. I am keeping my fingers crossed!!! Once we are on the list that is considered a paper pregnancy in the adoption world. I think that is cute. I might even get a shirt that says Pregnant on Paper, I'll be so excited! I saw another shirt I liked that said Pregnant with Love for my son in Vietnam. I don't want to be too corny, though. I guess if anything I could get it and just wear it around the house. It would make me smile =)

I'll update soon. Hopefully to announce that Rich and I are finally on the list. Then everyday that passes gets us closer to the referral of our son.

Love,
Shannon

Adoption Education

2007-05-07T09:21:00.000-06:00

In order to adopt, it is a requirement that you have 10 hours worth of adoption education. We have 4 dvds to watch and a huge book.

Yesterday Rich and I watched the first dvd and took our test on line. We both scored a 100% =) I have also gotten half way thru the adoptive parenting book. It is full of very interesting and useful information.

We are still waiting on our I-171H form. No surprise, it hasn't even been a month but I have a feeling we will get it by the end of may. My fingers are crossed anyway.

Home Study Complete!

2007-04-19T14:22:00.000-06:00

We finished our Home Study April 13. We went and had our finger prints taken today and Sara mailed a copy of the home study to CIS today! So, it possible we could have our approval and be on the list by June! At the very least we should be able to make the list by July!! Needless to say, I am very excited about how quick the first part of this process has gone.

Making Progress

2007-04-03T10:18:00.000-06:00

The interview yesterday went okay. She just asked a lot of general questions about me and my family. Describe your parents. What were you like as a child? Are you close to extended family? What is your relationship with your brother? Then she moved into questions regarding Richard and I and our relationship. Our views on child rearing, discipline and such. The interview lasted just over an hour.

We can possibly have the home study done within the next two weeks, as long as all the referral letters come in. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that everyone sends them in soon so we can put the home study under our belt and start the wait for the 171-H form. We mailed in our I-600A form certified mail today! Sara said we should get an invitation to get our finger prints in a couple of weeks!

We have really done a good job and I am scared to say it because I don't want to jinx it....so I won't say it, yet.

What we have left to get before completing the home study

Medicals for Richard and I
Richards letter of employment from his advisor
local background checks
pass port photo page (still waiting!)

Richard has his interview tomorrow and then we will schedule the home visit for next week.

I am coming home(Memphis/Mississippi) this weekend for Easter. I am so excited to see all my friends and to see Luke and Edward. It will be a nice break.

**I just checked on line and my passport is being processed! I really hope I get it before the end of April...we'll see.**

Interviews

2007-04-02T11:10:00.000-06:00

My first interview with our social worker, Sara is today.

I have a lot of paper work to turn into her today as well. In fact it is almost everything we need. The only things I am missing are the medical forms, Richard's employment letter from his advisor, local background check and oh yes, the photo page of my passport. It has been like five weeks since I applied and I am getting anxious to get it. I don't think we can finish the home study with out it. I am not sure, though. I'll check on that.

Good news! I have all the documents needed to send in our I-600A form to C.I.S. in Memphis! I am going to take everything to Sara this afternoon and have her check it before we send it. Hopefully in about 4 weeks we will get a letter inviting us to have our finger-prints taken.

I am hoping that by July we have the coveted 171-H form. This is when we will officially start the wait for being matched with our baby. I will celebrate like never before when we finally get this form!!

I'll update later and write more about the interview. Wish me luck! =)

Social Worker

2007-03-21T14:24:00.000-06:00

Today we were assigned our social worker. Luckily it is also our Country Coordinator. That means we have one person we have to go to for everything. I am really glad it worked out that way.

We have to write a 5-6 page autobiography. I have started on mine. Rich has been too busy but promises he will have it done by next Friday. When the Autobiographies are done we will email them to Sara(our S/W) and then we will schedule our first meeting.

I really want to send in the I600A form. We have everything to do it except for one form that I am trying to gather. I hope to be able to get it this week. My fingers are crossed!!

First Class

2007-03-19T14:44:00.000-06:00

Tonight we have a Home Study class at CHI. The class is from6:30-8:30. As excited as I am to get a running start and to learn and gather as much as we can, I am really tiered today. Hopefully it will be a short 2 hours.

Okay, here we go!

2007-03-10T18:08:00.000-06:00

We did it!! We turned in our application to Children's Hope on Friday!!!
That's me filling out the application =)

CHI is directly across the street from my office, so Friday Rich dropped me off at work and was going to come by the office at 4:00 (CHI closed at 4:30) and we were to then turn in our app. together.

Well, 4:00 came then 4:05, then 4:10, then 4:15...I knew he wasn't going to make it so at 4:20 I walked outside and watch the road and after a couple minutes found myself walking across the street to turn in the application. I have waited for so long I was SO ready to get started!! No way was I waiting even two more days.

I called the receptionist for my office and told here that if my dear husband came looking for me I would be across the street.

When I walked in the door the receptionist was on the phone, so I just stood there for a second when another woman greeted me. I told her I was dropping off our application and she answered with an enthusiastic "CONGRATULATIONS!!!" Just then the receptionist hung up the phone and also congratulated me and gave me her best wishes. Now I know they probably are supposed to react that way, but it really seemed genuine and it really made me smile. They were really excited for me.

The woman who greeted me (Who's name I have forgotten with all the excitement going on) is the Vietnam Director for CHI(The one persons name I should remember!) so she was just the person I needed to see. She briefly looked over the application and asked if I had any questions. As she started explaining the process Rich walked in. I was really, really glad to see him. I really wanted him to be there and be part of it. I was also glad I could introduce him to the Vietnam Director and visa verse. She seemed pleased and was very nice.

Turning in the application was a really big step for Rich and I. It was a pivotal moment in our lives and we have just set into motion a process that will change the entire dynamic of our family and of course totally change our lives!! They were really happy for us and just made me feel that much more confident in our decision to go with them.

So now what? Our approval packet should arrive in 2 weeks. We then start the Home Study which involves gathering documents, back ground checks, getting reference letters, physicals and having several interviews with a social worker including a home visit. I of course hope to FLY thru this process. We are going to the beach with my family(another Yay!!) on July 4Th, so I am hoping to celebrate that we have finished the Home Study by then. It would be a great group of people to celebrate with!!! And of course, the sooner we are on the Waiting List, the sooner we get a son!

The 'waiting' period will be a little longer with CHI than maybe another agency, but for Rich and I the timing will be perfect! It will be around that time he will be graduating and we will almost certainly be re-locating (Memphis!? I hope!).

So, Yay! We have taken the first step!! It feels so real now! We are going to have a son...we will be a little family!! It may be a year, year and half, but we are going to have a son!!!